a_time_slip | Do not taunt happy fun ball rp for sees

"Well, the movie would be really short if someone didn't do something dumb. Like running upstairs while being chased by a guy with an axe. Obviously, they'd be better off leaving the house instead of going away from the exits, but then they'd get away and it would be over."

"Why not have a different plot? Or have the chase in the beginning as a lead in for something better?"

"Because that would be new and original, and Hollywood really, really hates that. Instead, they can use the same plot from the same movie that sold millions of tickets every other time it was filmed, and they'll know that they can sell millions of tickets to people who want to see it again, including the people who saw it last time around."

"I'm changing the movie."

She flipped the stations, and settled on the innocent sounding 'Hallmark' channel.

"Wait, why is this called 'Holiday in Handcuffs'?" Xander asked. " ... and do I actually want to know?"

"Those are too easy to break out of." Janie said, looking at the fuzzy pink handcuffs on screen "And why is this on a Hallmark channel? I didn't want to watch pornography tonight."

"It's not porn," Xander said. "Look ... Sabrina's in it. She doesn't do porn. I mean, when she was Clarissa, she explained it all, but 'all' didn't include ... porn. If it did, I missed that episode."

"It's called Holiday in Handcuffs. She's got hunky McHunkerpants in a pair of fuzzy sex cuffs. Why else would she do that?"

"I'd imagine the entire point of this movie is to answer that very question."

"We'll need more snacks to get through this." Janie realized "Unless you want to watch the movie about the dinosaur."

"That's possibly the worst-looking dinosaur ever, so ... I think I'll take my chances with Sabrina and the fussy pink handcuffs."

"You don't like those, do you? I'm not buying anything fuzzy and pink."

"No, no, that's okay. The chrome-plated ones are just fine, thanks."

"They're steel." Janie smiled, and got up to get more snacks. "Do you want beer?"

"I could do with a brew."

Janie returned a moment later with another bowl of popcorn and a six pack.

"How's this? I need soda,don't I?"

"That's ... a lot of beer," Xander said. "And yeah, or you could have a beer, too ... "

"I'll be good." Janie set the snacks and beer down, then went to get soda for herself "Am I missing anything interesting?"

" ... You're really, really not." He opened a can of beer.

"Is the movie absolutely terrrible?"

"It's ... shockingly bad, without enough unintentional humor to qualify as, 'so bad it's good.'"

"Should we try something else?" she asked

"The dinosaur's sounding better all the time," Xander admitted. "Either that, or it's the beer talking." He'd only had a sip.

"You're not nearly drunk yet." Janie commented "You need something harder for that."

"I'll just stick with this, but thanks for keeping that in mind. So ... fake dinosaur, or ... " He started browsing the cable menu. " ... something about princesses, something about monster trucks, the five minutes of music that MTV plays every week to avoid truth-in-advertising lawsuits, an infomercial about the Slap-Chop ... Do we have any of the actual movie stations?"

"We should have every station." Janie said. She'd somehow rigged up a descramber because she thought cable was entirely too overpriced.

Xander gave Janie a doubletake, at that. " ... and here I thought we were just trapped in Basic Cable Hell. Okay, then ... let's see ... This opens up a lot more possibilities. Some of which might not sound like bad porn. ... and some of which probably are."

"I don't want to watch porn" she said, unhappily. "We can have wild sex without watching it on television. Is anything funny on?"

"Umm ... Black Knight?"

"Black Knight? Is that something medevial?"

Janie hadn't seen it.

"It's ... umm. It's a comedy about ... time ... travel ... and it may seem a little too much like every day, to you, but it's funny."

"Who's in it?" she asked, flopping down next to him on the couch

"Marin Lawrence," Xander said. "And someone who you've probably seen playing the same evil guy in a dozen other movies."

"I thought Martin Lawrence went insane." she said, moving one of Xander's arms so that it was around her

"He's pretty much always that way," Xander said, giving Janie a squeeze. "He just usually keeps it more on-camera."

"...This isn't accurate." Janie said, a few minutes into the movie. "Not nearly accurate..."

"It's not supposed to be accurate. It's supposed to be funny," Xander said. "And that's not accurate? Really?"

"Their accents are terrible, and when I visited that time with Phoenix, everything was completely different"

"I'm guessing they weren't able to capture all the nuances of Medieval life. Or, you know, the smell."

"That captured it." she said,referring to what was on the screen "And I feel like I'll be sick after watching that."

"Makes carbon monoxide seem a lot more pleasant," Xander said. "Could base an entire ad campaign around that. 'Carbon Monoxide: Could be worse, could be crap.'"

Janie laughed, and snuggled in closer to Xander. "Thank you. I almost left."

She wanted to say something else, but instead, kissed him on the cheek.

Do not taunt happy fun ball rp for sees_everything

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