Um...

[a_time_slip]

This is a lot of planning. What about finding an officiant to do this when we're ready to marry, because I have no confidence in my wedding planning abilities at all. Having a wedding would be nice and I want one... but this is a lot of planning, and I don't know who would be in the party, I can't contribute to the costs, I've got no dowry- wait, that's not used anymore.

I think all of this is starting to hit me. I'm getting married, I'm moving, I'm going to school, this stuff with my 'family', I'm going to be a stepmother. If this all fails... No. I'll forget about that for now.

9-12 months before the wedding:

*Announce your engagement to friends and family. 
* Arrange for parents to get together and meet each other if they haven't already.
* Pick a special date to begin your lives together. May 25.
* Discuss what your budget will be and who'll be contributing what to the event.  I can't, unless I get a job (which I will when we're in Texas)
* Interview wedding planners if you're using one.  Not trusting anyone else to plan this if we do this wedding thing.
* Pick the ceremony site and meet with the officiant.  Um, haven't done that yet.
* Work on the guest list to get a rough head count.  5?  Is that even a wedding?
* Visit reception sites and reserve one.  I?? Um.  I haven't yet.
* Begin shopping for your wedding gown.  Does looking online count?
* If you want to drop a few pounds for the wedding start now.  ???  I have to lose weight?

6-9 months before the wedding:

*Choose the members of your wedding party.  But those are my guests...
*Select a caterer.  Bring your own lunch?  Okay...  um, I'll need to research this more.
*Enroll in a bridal registry.  I'm not sure about this.
*Order your wedding gown. Once I pick one out and get the money for it.
*Shop for bridesmaids dresses.  ...I have to buy those too?
*Pick a photographer and videographer.  No.  I don't want my picture taken.
*Hire a florist.  This is already adding up to too much
*Start thinking about where you'd like to go for your honeymoon.  Somewhere quiet and relaxing.
*Send out save-the-date cards, especially if your wedding is on a holiday weekend.  This list is discouraging.

4-6 months before the wedding:

*Order wedding stationary (place cards, thank you cards, etc.).  I understand thank you cards, but I don't care where people sit...  well, no.  Phoenix can't sit with us, and Mother can't sit near Daddy
*Shop for the perfect wedding cake.  Mmm, cake
*Hire your wedding-day transportation (carriage, limousine, etc.)  We can't use Ian's car?
*Book your favorite hair stylist and makeup artist. Done!  It's me!
*Check on hotels for any out-of-town guests.   I don't think that'll be a concern?
*Finalize the guest list.  All 5 of the people on it.
*Get definite plans for your honeymoon, make airline and hotel arrangements.  We'll cross this bridge when we get to it
*Plan the rehearsal dinner.  Mmm, dinner.

2-4 months before the wedding:

* Purchase the marriage license from your cities county clerk.  Everything has a price.
* Order tuxedos for the groom and groomsmen.   He already has a tux.
* Meet with the caterer to go over menus, wine selections, etc. A glass of wine would be good right now.
* Order the wedding cake.  Again, torturing me with the cake!
* Select wedding ceremony and reception music.  That will be easy.
* If you plan on writing your own vows start writing them now.  Um.  If I can write a set of equations I will.

4-8 weeks before the wedding:

*Mail wedding invitations 6 to 8 weeks ahead of your wedding date.  That's actually simple
*Do a hair and make up run through with your wedding veil on.  Why?

2-4 weeks before the wedding:

*Work on the seating arrangements for the reception.  IMPORTANT STEP!
*Confirm details with the photographer, florist, and other vendors.  They shouldn't need confirming.
*Have your final wedding dress fitting.  It needs to be fitted?  Fine.
*Write your rehearsal-dinner toast.  Can this be an equation too?
*Purchase gifts for the wedding attendants.  They need gifts?  No idea what to get them.
*Compile a list of all of the wedding vendors and wedding party. Carry this list with you everywhere you go just in case.  Obviously.

1 week before the wedding:

*Place any amounts due on the wedding day in envelopes for easy distribution.  Obviously.
*Give the caterer a final head count.  Another obvious thing.
*Find a trustworthy person to take the cake knife, toasting glasses, etc. to the reception.  That person is on the guestlist/wedding party
*Get final beauty treatments (manicure, facial, massage, waxing, brow shaping, etc.).  Um... I don't do those things.
*Pack for the honeymoon.  Common sense.


The day before the wedding:

*Get something old - symbolizes continuity with the bride's family and the past.  Done.
* Get something new - means optimism and hope for the bride's new life ahead  Done.
* Get something borrowed - an item from a happily married friend or family member, whose good fortune in marriage is supposed to carry over to the new bride. Thanks, John.
* Get something blue - to symbolize love, modesty, and fidelity.  Done.
* And a silver sixpence in her shoe - represents wealth and financial security. For optimum fortune, the sixpence should be in the left shoe. These days, a dime or a copper penny can be substituted.  Thanks Phoenix.

The day of the wedding:

*Relax and remain calm.  HAHAHAHAHA
*Remember to eat something. You may be so busy with things that you forget.  I doubt I'll remember this list
*Allow yourself at least two hours to get dressed.  Why so long?
*Enjoy yourself at this once in a life time event!  If I'm not freaking out.

Summary = (Freaking out) X (Wedding planning list) / promise of food and drink = Pessimistic Janie.

What if this doesn't happen?  Something is going to go wrong.  Something terrible.  I can't take it if that happens.  I don't know what to do.

Comments

[a-mind-flip.livejournal.com]

Why would it be your fault?

[jp-hammond.livejournal.com]

I inadvertently introduced him to Ellen and I sent Sarah to take care of him after she divorced him. I feel responsible for what he's gone through the past few years.

[a-mind-flip.livejournal.com]

You have no control over how other people behave. I don't think you should blame yourself for Sarah and Ellen.

[jp-hammond.livejournal.com]

You are right but it is not easy to believe after seeing... well it doesn't matter. I hope he has found someone better in you.

[a-mind-flip.livejournal.com]

I'd like to think I was better. I want to be.

[jp-hammond.livejournal.com]

I hope you are. He swore after Sarah he wouldn't be with anyone else. You must have given him faith in something.

[a-mind-flip.livejournal.com]

I don't know how I did that. I let him know how I felt. I promised that I will always be there for him. Aren't those normal things?

[jp-hammond.livejournal.com]

Saying those things and following through with them have not been talents of his exs.

[a-mind-flip.livejournal.com]

I follow through on what I say. I don't break promises, and I am loyal.

[jp-hammond.livejournal.com]

It is good to hear you say that. For all his forward thinking in the sciences Dr. Malcolm is very traditional in some ways.

[a-mind-flip.livejournal.com]

It's a great combination, isn't it?

[jp-hammond.livejournal.com]

I have always valued his business ideals but his traditional personality points have never been good for the women he's attracted to.

[a-mind-flip.livejournal.com]

I love his personality.

[jp-hammond.livejournal.com]

Well, perhaps it is for the best that you do despite his absurd personality lately which you no doubt are affecting.

[a-mind-flip.livejournal.com]

His personality is absurd lately? I hadn't noticed.

[jp-hammond.livejournal.com]

I'd expect nothing less since you seem to thrive in the presence of his arrogant, egotistical, excessively confident and flamboyant self. He has his moments of being completely impossible to deal with.

[a-mind-flip.livejournal.com]

He's never impossible for me to deal with.

[jp-hammond.livejournal.com]

He cherishes that about you. I must say his ability to spend some time without being the center of attention is quite remarkable. I should thank you for the relief that has been.

[a-mind-flip.livejournal.com]

He does? You're welcome... and thank you, for everything. You're a very nice guy.

[jp-hammond.livejournal.com]

The last time I saw him he talked more about you than himself. I've never heard him talk like that about anyone but Kelly. You're welcome. I've known Ian since he was in graduate school. He's almost part of the family after all of these years.

[a-mind-flip.livejournal.com]

I talk about him all the time. He's almost all I think about, unless I'm thinking about math, but math usually leads to thinking about him. He's the only person that's been able to help me with my equations. Kelly's really nice and she's smart too. I like her a lot. Ian's pushing me to go to college, and I'm sure he'll do the same for graduate school. He's such an intelligent man.

[jp-hammond.livejournal.com]

The two of you sound perfect for each other. I am glad to hear you get along well with Kelly.

[a-mind-flip.livejournal.com]

Yes. I do. Everyone he's introduced me to is great.

[jp-hammond.livejournal.com]

He's choosing who he introduces you to.

[a-mind-flip.livejournal.com]

He doesn't have to.