(never sent)

Dearest Xander,

I want you to know that I love you, and that I won't stop, not as long as you're walking around and loving me back.  You're such a wonderful guy, always kind, always willing to make things work and I don't deserve you.  I've slept around...  a lot.  It was before I found you again but it still feels so wrong.  

I was hurting and I felt so alone, so I drank.  I won't blame sluttiness on drinking, but it sure didn't hurt.  If I was normal I'd be filled with disease right now but I'm not, so you'd never know.  That enough should be worth leaving me for, but there's something else.

My heart belongs to someone else.  Not that part of it isn't yours, which it always will be, because I do love you.  But this other person, he's, it's so hard to explain.  He's my family, my best friend, my other half.  He's been that for centuries and will be long after you're gone, honestly, he's been that for most of my life.

I think you suspect some of this already.  You know how close we are, and you- there's a bond that you can't break, no matter how much I hate him, or how mad you are about something he's said to me.  I think you know about Lynn too, because the math just doesn't add up with her.  I'm pretty sure Frankie will be yours, though, and you will be there for Lynn as she grows.

You are the best thing to happen to me, and I'm so sorry about everything.  You deserve better, and I deserve to be alone.

Love forever,
Janie

Xander,

Up for another round?

xoxo
J

You, me, dancing.

At a club please.

Dear dreams,

Can you please go away?  I don't need to see what I've done every night. 

I know I'm a terrible person.  And if this meant the other kind of dreams, please kindly go away.  It's not going to happen and my fate is already sealed.

Other dreams?  The ones I'm sure are from pregnancy hormones, kindly go away.  I'd like one damn night where I sleep and wake well rested.

J

Playlist meme

1)Put your playlist on shuffle
2)Write a drabble for the first song that plays. You can only write for the amount of the time the song plays.
3)Repeat four more times

Where did you sleep last night -   After this
( Where did you sleep last night? )

Haunting Me -
( Why are you haunting me? )

Change (In the house of flies)
( I looked away, and you were a fly )
At Last - after this
( my love has come along )

Storybook Love
( Love is like a story book story )

After this

Janie should have been back from her mission days ago, but life rarely works out as planned.  She'd called her Father to let him know she made it back safely,   He had questions about the mission,why she was back late, when she'd pick Lynn up.

She only promised to see him in two days.  It would give her time to rest and to spend a little quality time with her boyfriend.

Her intentions were to order a nice meal, set it up with candles and wine, and have nice romance times.  Instead, she was asleep on the couch with the phone in her hand.

Stress?  There was no stress right now,no problems with anyone, no enemies- there was just her boat, and a bit of land decorated for a luau.  She'd actually put the boat in the water for once!

Janie sat back with a drink and waited for people to show up.  When she decided to throw the spontaneous shindig, she cheated and sent invitations out right away.

It was happy fun party time.

(gif from http://gif-a-lil-bit.livejournal.com/5954.html )

1 question...
1 chance...
1 honest answer...

That's all you get. Ask me one question. Any one question, anything, no matter how crazy it is. An honest answer. No catch.