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just_muse_me 19.1.2
May. 17th, 2009 02:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
a_time_slip“Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness.” - Robertson Davies
Her neighbors were laughing about something. They were outside of the door next to her apartment, trying to shush each other because of the late hour and the fact that no light came from their neighbor's window.
They didn't know that she did not use her lights at night. The only thing she kept constantly plugged in was the fridge. Bills stayed lower that way, she figured. Barely able to make rent, Janie cut costs everywhere else to stay in her apartment. The fridge only held milk and leftovers from her latest dinner out with her boyfriend. She didn't have a home phone line, or cable and her Internet was borrowed from a neighbor's connection.
An old computer sat on a table, unplugged. She checked it every so often for an email from a friend, but usually had none. She never managed to keep friends for long. Who wanted to hang out with a girl who thought Quantum Equations were a fun hobby? She really tried to act like most other college aged people but it never seemed to work quite right. The last big group provided a place for her to hang out until her next work shift- but that was all over now.
Janie nodded off, thinking about those things, and soon found herself in a nightmare. There she was again, watching everything around her burn, watching people die. The woman whose death someone desperately wanted to see- the people she'd called family. Her friends past and present- her boyfriend.
Like most dreams, this seemed real, until she heard the sound of her cell phone and that special ring tone that let her know her boyfriend was calling.
He made her smile. Her other friends made her smile. The sound of their voices helped the nightmares fade and made her realize that she wasn't alone, no matter what Ori told her. The older woman would find her at least twice a week, threaten her, tell her to give up.
Sometimes, she made good on the threats, or things that she predicted happened. Janie wondered if she should give up. What was there to live for? Why continue? In the next few weeks, she was certain she would be out of the apartment. There wouldn't be enough for rent. Two of her jobs were lost and the third didn't pay enough to cover rent.
Ori often told her that she never should have been born, that when her parents found out they were going to have her, they should have destroyed the child. Her own mother wanted her dead, and her father had another life.
But Janie realized she had friends. There was a standing offer to stay at a friends house, and this friend didn't seem to care that she constantly worked on math or that she didn't always know the right answer to a silly question. They would go to shops and eat, act completely silly. She did that with a few other friends too.
She had her music and her math. The music was all that paid the bills right now. If she got another gig night a week, she would be able to cover rent. If she managed to get more than that, she would have room to keep her power on for a bit longer, or have actual food in the apartment.
Her boyfriend would come to visit soon. She needed to have food when he was over and use the lights, but that would be okay. No matter what happened, she wouldn't be alone anymore. She'd find a way to scrape rent together, and a way to pay for everything else.
There was a reason that she was alive, and reasons not to give up and bow to what Ori wanted. Her nightmares weren't real.
The spontaneous time and dimensional travel, however, was.
Muse: Janie Potts (Ja'nee Taylor)
Fandom: Original
Word count: 640
Her neighbors were laughing about something. They were outside of the door next to her apartment, trying to shush each other because of the late hour and the fact that no light came from their neighbor's window.
They didn't know that she did not use her lights at night. The only thing she kept constantly plugged in was the fridge. Bills stayed lower that way, she figured. Barely able to make rent, Janie cut costs everywhere else to stay in her apartment. The fridge only held milk and leftovers from her latest dinner out with her boyfriend. She didn't have a home phone line, or cable and her Internet was borrowed from a neighbor's connection.
An old computer sat on a table, unplugged. She checked it every so often for an email from a friend, but usually had none. She never managed to keep friends for long. Who wanted to hang out with a girl who thought Quantum Equations were a fun hobby? She really tried to act like most other college aged people but it never seemed to work quite right. The last big group provided a place for her to hang out until her next work shift- but that was all over now.
Janie nodded off, thinking about those things, and soon found herself in a nightmare. There she was again, watching everything around her burn, watching people die. The woman whose death someone desperately wanted to see- the people she'd called family. Her friends past and present- her boyfriend.
Like most dreams, this seemed real, until she heard the sound of her cell phone and that special ring tone that let her know her boyfriend was calling.
He made her smile. Her other friends made her smile. The sound of their voices helped the nightmares fade and made her realize that she wasn't alone, no matter what Ori told her. The older woman would find her at least twice a week, threaten her, tell her to give up.
Sometimes, she made good on the threats, or things that she predicted happened. Janie wondered if she should give up. What was there to live for? Why continue? In the next few weeks, she was certain she would be out of the apartment. There wouldn't be enough for rent. Two of her jobs were lost and the third didn't pay enough to cover rent.
Ori often told her that she never should have been born, that when her parents found out they were going to have her, they should have destroyed the child. Her own mother wanted her dead, and her father had another life.
But Janie realized she had friends. There was a standing offer to stay at a friends house, and this friend didn't seem to care that she constantly worked on math or that she didn't always know the right answer to a silly question. They would go to shops and eat, act completely silly. She did that with a few other friends too.
She had her music and her math. The music was all that paid the bills right now. If she got another gig night a week, she would be able to cover rent. If she managed to get more than that, she would have room to keep her power on for a bit longer, or have actual food in the apartment.
Her boyfriend would come to visit soon. She needed to have food when he was over and use the lights, but that would be okay. No matter what happened, she wouldn't be alone anymore. She'd find a way to scrape rent together, and a way to pay for everything else.
There was a reason that she was alive, and reasons not to give up and bow to what Ori wanted. Her nightmares weren't real.
The spontaneous time and dimensional travel, however, was.
Muse: Janie Potts (Ja'nee Taylor)
Fandom: Original
Word count: 640
