Emails from Naija.

[a_time_slip]

You might be a Naija Child of the 80's if:

1. The opening of your school was ever "postponed indefinitely due to circumstances beyond their control."
2. You remember thinking that the 1 dollar to 4 Naira exchange rate was TOO high.
3. You actively celebrated Nigeria's 25th birthday with songs like:"we are 25 ring the bell...!" and mourned it...with songs like "which way Nigeria?"
4. You didn't know that the name GRINGORY was actually the Naija (mis)pronunciation of GREGORY.
5. You know what OFN, WAI, MAMSER, SAP and SFEM really stand for! (These Are acronyms for Operation Feed the Nation, War Against Indiscipline and Mass Mobilization for Social and Economic Recovery)
6. You remember collecting comic inserts from "bazooka joe" bubble gum.
7. You remember eating soya beans as a substitute for meat...not because you were vegetarian but because of otanishi...
8. You know what to respond when someone says "Story, Story" ... "once upon a time"
9. You remember how to sing Jide Obi's song "Ngozi"
10. You thought deodorant was just another perfume you could choose to use, or not, depending on your mood.
11. You ever acted on "Impulse" (didn't you just love that commercial).
12. You know all the words to the song "Sweet Mother".
13. You STILL remember the words to Nigeria's Old Anthem ... "NIGERIA WE HAIL THEE... "
14. You remember the jingles for NPP and NPN.
15. (For women only) You EVER wore "peddle-pushers" then you are definitely a child of the 80's.
16. You remember reading pop comics.
17. (For the guys) "Ikebe Super" and "Dauda" were regular recreational reading.
18. You were actually afraid of "Willie Willie"
19. Your Friday nights were reserved for Cock Crown at Dawn...and Bitrus, Uncle Gaga and Zamai still feel like close relatives.
20. You never thought that the "Ghana go home" crusade was proof that Naija would always be better off than its neighbors.
21. You know how to sing the words to the Joy Soap commercial...you know the one - "Hey, Joy Giaaalll".
22. You know what president the song "isi ewu na garri" refers to.
23. For the ladies, you've actually read over 40 Mills & Boons or Harlequin Romance novels and didn't notice any similarities.
24. (For those who went to Secondary School) Ababio and Abbot are an integral part of your vocabulary. And you know that no matter how many times you write your name on those books, they'll get lifted the minute you turn your back.
25. You know who Barbara Soki is.
26. You still use "blue" when washing your white clothes.

You know you've been in the United States too long when

* "Truck" instead of "Lorry"
* "SUV" instead of "Jeep"
* "Forget it" instead of "Fashi"
* "Wuz up" instead of "How far now"
* "Hood" instead of "Bonnet"
* "Trunk" instead of "Boot"
* "Stop making fun of me" instead of "Stop yabbing me" or "Stop abusing me"
* "Gas station" instead of "Petrol Station"
* "Fries" instead of "Chips"
* "Big Mac, Chicken McGrill, * Pounder" instead of just plain "Burger"
* "Crispy" instead of "Cripsy"
* "Fireworks/Firecrackers" instead of "Banga"
* "Soda/Pop" instead of "Minerals"
* "Coccaine/weed" instead of "gbana"
* "Crazy" instead of "We re" (I"m sure the spelling aint right)
* "Laundry Detergent" instead of "OMO"
* "Dryer" instead of "Hang it in the sun"
* "Service" instead of "Sa veece" (e silent)
* "Stupid" instead of "Olodo/Ode"
* "Cinder Block" instead of "Bricks"
* "Concrete" instead of "Cement"
* "Peugeot" instead of "Pe-geot"
* "Trash Can" instead of "Dozbin"
* "Shower" instead of "Bath"
* "Power is out" instead of " NEPA has taken light"
* "Phone is dead/cut off" instead of "NITEL"
* "Cop" instead of "MoPol"
* "Traffic Light" instead of "Yellow Fever"
* "Cab" instead of "Taxi"
* "E-Mail" instead of "What???" (Just kidding some know what e-mail is)
* "Hit me up later" instead of "We go yan"
* "Pass Out" instead of "Graduate"
* "Security Guard" instead of "Gateman"
* "Cafeteria" instead of "Canteen"
* "Faucet" instead of "Tap"
* "Steal" instead of Tap"
* "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit" (Cabin)
* "Pants" instead of "trouser/trousee"
* "underwear" instead of "pant"
* "VCR" instead of "Video"
* "Movie" instead of "Film"
* "Extensions" instead of "Attachment" (Hair)
* "Lotion" instead of "Cream"
* "Compact/Press Powder" instead of "Pancake"
* "Cornrows" instead of "weave"
* "Weave" instead of "Weave-on"
* "Suitcase" instead of "Box"
* "High school" instead of "Secondary School"
* "Grade school" instead of "Primary school"
* "Wifebeater" instead of "singlet"
* "Sneakers" instead of "Canvas"
* "Soccer" instead of "Football"
* "Motorcycle" instead of "meshin", or "okada"
* College" instead of "yunivasiti"
* "Car" instead of "moto"
* "Flipflops" instead of "silpas"
* "Nail polish" instead of "Cotex"
* "Braids" instead of "Bob Mali"
* "gum" instead of "chin-gum"
* "smoke" instead of "tab"
* "Shower" instead of "Baaf"
* "Clothes" instead of "Spoot"
* "Hallway" instead of "Corridoor"
* "Living/Sitting Room" instead of "Paalor
* "Balcony" instead of "Varanda"
* "Stab/Poke" instead of "Chook"
* "Ballpoint" instead of "Buyro" or "Beek"
* "African American" instead of "... ok I won't go there!!!
* "Sandals" instead of "Bata"... as in Cortina
* "VW Bug" instead of "Bittle"
* "Arithmetic" instead of "Mats"
* "Abroad" instead of "Oversis"
* "Luggage" instead of "Load" ... or for my Igbo peeps... "Ngwongwo"
* "Menthol" instead of "Veeks"
* "Tetanus" instead of "Jeega Shot (rx)" instead of "injekshun"
* "Boss" instead of "Oga"
* "CEO" instead of "Oga Pata pata"
* "Manners" instead of "Home training"
* "Circle" instead of "roundabout"
* "Projects" instead of "GRA ...government residential area"
* "Apartment building" instead of "blok of flats"
* "Carpool" instead of "Kabu kabu"
* "Flashlight" instead of "touch"
* "Hoe ( not the digging instrument )" instead of "Ashawo"
* "Knock knees" instead of "k leg"
* "Eye infection" instead of "Appolo" ... cureable only by flushing eyes out with sugar water

Comments

[acadaca.livejournal.com]

Eh? Know gan a git a words in England too. Me girl, she gan other way. Good American girl, aye, git a English banter.

[a-mind-flip.livejournal.com]

You said you're from North Shore, Tyne and Wear?

[acadaca.livejournal.com]

Aye.

[a-mind-flip.livejournal.com]

I haven't been there, but it's good to know it won't be too hard for me to understand.

[acadaca.livejournal.com]

Git a bantering a us, eh? gan me pet a knaa me words.