(no subject)
Apr. 6th, 2010 07:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
a_time_slip"Why do you keep peeling potatoes?" asked Lynn. Every corner of the room was piled high with the root. Janie sat in the center, peeling and slicing. She'd obviously been at it for a while.
"It's my punishment."
"For what?" She paused when the little girl asked her that, then went back to peeling.
"I'm not sure."
"Stop peeling and come play with me"
"I can't until the pile is gone." Janie continued with it, and her daughter disappeared. The pile never seemed to get smaller. Lynn returned much later, completely frustrated.
"It's not going to go away. You have to leave it"
"Lynn, I've got to be punished."
"Why?"
"I broke the rules."
"What rules?"
"I was born. I go where I want. I kissed Tayo."
"Mommy, you'll die if you stay there."
"I'm not supposed to be alive"
"...What about me?"
The potatoes were gone, and she was on the road again. "Does that mean you wanna keep me?"
"Yes. Why wouldn't I I love you." There was another obstacle. Giovan, her team, some of the men she'd slept with.
Ian.
"You think it's one of them."
"You deserve one. A father."
"It's complicated."
"Someone has to be your father."
"I wanna just be you and me! And Phoenix and Alec and Sam! That's the family."
"No! Phoenix- we"
"They're family! Sam doesn't have a Mom!"
"That's because Phoenix is different"
"You're not that different. Closer than you think."
"He's a wanker"
"Shortarse."
"LYNN!"
"Youre important Mommy. You, Phoenix. Don't leave him like you did before."
"I left because-"
"Don't do it again! It's okay if you wake up with him, I promise."
"He's like a brother or an uncle"
"It's not that simple."
"Is anything? Why won't you let me fix the clocks?"
"You still haven't learned it. They're not broken"
"What's that got to do with Phoenix, or your lack of a father?"
"I don't want a father." The men were now gone, except for Giovan.
"Why's he here?"
"I dunno. It's your dream."
"He killed my friends."
"Mommy, I don't like him. He's scary."
"I won't let him near you."
"It's too late. Hurry up Mom!"
"Phoenx beat him up..."
"Don't let him do it again! Mommy, he can't."
"Lynn-"
"If you love him, help him"
"I... love him."
"Help him, please. It's who you are."
"I love him?"
"It's complicated! Don't leave him."
"It's going to be harder-"
"Fine, he's your best friend. He's a brother, or... MOMMY! He's like everything was at Grandma's! He's one of the team."
"I'll always be there for him."
She was now alone, and in a tiny windowless room.
Oh gods. Vahl.
The violation, the pain. It ending with her holding the last bit of clothing and dignity to her body. Giving her violated body to strangers. The drinking and what she'd done before. All of the men and woman that she let have her.
Sex had lost it's meaning long before Vahl. Sometime after the events in Dakinor, and.
No. It started. God no. She's at the restaurant again. He was an ideal date. Giovan Cattivo, leader of the alpha team. Janie was an alternate of the beta at the time. She'd done the rare job of individual assignments several times.
The first night was great, like most of her first times. She'd wanted to go all night, until he fell asleep on top of her, snoring. She soon realized that only his pleasure mattered. Whereever he wanted, she'd be on her knees or on her back. Over and over until he was exhausted.
That was why she lost her passion. She freely gave herself to future partners, pleased whenever she recieved physical pleasure. That's all sex became to her.
That's all it was. Vahl turned it into something painful, something scary. Control was the key in the future partners, which is why waking up next to Phoenix bothered her so very much.
Her mind, body, none of it belonged to her.
"It's my punishment."
"For what?" She paused when the little girl asked her that, then went back to peeling.
"I'm not sure."
"Stop peeling and come play with me"
"I can't until the pile is gone." Janie continued with it, and her daughter disappeared. The pile never seemed to get smaller. Lynn returned much later, completely frustrated.
"It's not going to go away. You have to leave it"
"Lynn, I've got to be punished."
"Why?"
"I broke the rules."
"What rules?"
"I was born. I go where I want. I kissed Tayo."
"Mommy, you'll die if you stay there."
"I'm not supposed to be alive"
"...What about me?"
The potatoes were gone, and she was on the road again. "Does that mean you wanna keep me?"
"Yes. Why wouldn't I I love you." There was another obstacle. Giovan, her team, some of the men she'd slept with.
Ian.
"You think it's one of them."
"You deserve one. A father."
"It's complicated."
"Someone has to be your father."
"I wanna just be you and me! And Phoenix and Alec and Sam! That's the family."
"No! Phoenix- we"
"They're family! Sam doesn't have a Mom!"
"That's because Phoenix is different"
"You're not that different. Closer than you think."
"He's a wanker"
"Shortarse."
"LYNN!"
"Youre important Mommy. You, Phoenix. Don't leave him like you did before."
"I left because-"
"Don't do it again! It's okay if you wake up with him, I promise."
"He's like a brother or an uncle"
"It's not that simple."
"Is anything? Why won't you let me fix the clocks?"
"You still haven't learned it. They're not broken"
"What's that got to do with Phoenix, or your lack of a father?"
"I don't want a father." The men were now gone, except for Giovan.
"Why's he here?"
"I dunno. It's your dream."
"He killed my friends."
"Mommy, I don't like him. He's scary."
"I won't let him near you."
"It's too late. Hurry up Mom!"
"Phoenx beat him up..."
"Don't let him do it again! Mommy, he can't."
"Lynn-"
"If you love him, help him"
"I... love him."
"Help him, please. It's who you are."
"I love him?"
"It's complicated! Don't leave him."
"It's going to be harder-"
"Fine, he's your best friend. He's a brother, or... MOMMY! He's like everything was at Grandma's! He's one of the team."
"I'll always be there for him."
She was now alone, and in a tiny windowless room.
Oh gods. Vahl.
The violation, the pain. It ending with her holding the last bit of clothing and dignity to her body. Giving her violated body to strangers. The drinking and what she'd done before. All of the men and woman that she let have her.
Sex had lost it's meaning long before Vahl. Sometime after the events in Dakinor, and.
No. It started. God no. She's at the restaurant again. He was an ideal date. Giovan Cattivo, leader of the alpha team. Janie was an alternate of the beta at the time. She'd done the rare job of individual assignments several times.
The first night was great, like most of her first times. She'd wanted to go all night, until he fell asleep on top of her, snoring. She soon realized that only his pleasure mattered. Whereever he wanted, she'd be on her knees or on her back. Over and over until he was exhausted.
That was why she lost her passion. She freely gave herself to future partners, pleased whenever she recieved physical pleasure. That's all sex became to her.
That's all it was. Vahl turned it into something painful, something scary. Control was the key in the future partners, which is why waking up next to Phoenix bothered her so very much.
Her mind, body, none of it belonged to her.