Coming clean

[a_time_slip]

(This is for NYC Noir, but I don't have the brain power to make this into a proper post...  I'll probably fic it later and post it there)

Sometimes, the past catches up with you when you least expect it, and that's what happened that day at Janie's cheap hotel room.  An Agency vehicle was outside, and she knew what was inside.

So, she ran, and kept running until she realized she was at Phoenix's door.  All Janie could do was knock.

Comments

[a_time_slip]

"No, I told him I was an immigrant, which is why I took that horrible job and apartment... and he started trying to help me. And you're Lynn's father. He must have thought I was-"

"I am no coward! And I'm going to insult you soon, you. Wanker."

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

"Well, okay, I didn't tell him anything that could have been weird." He blinks at her outburst, still rather annoyed at being set up.

"Was that the insult? I'm devastated. See, I wasn't sure how much you'd told him, 'cause there was nobody there to sort of hint."

[a_time_slip]

"I wasn't there because you two could have fought! Or teamed up on me... or anything. But you had to meet him to see he wasn't horrible, and he had to meet you because of Lynn and I thought if you two met she'd be less likely to.... do what she's doing. She tried setting him up with other people, and convincing him that he's... not wanted. He's too nice of a guy for that. And he doesn't have a temper."

Janie didn't want to admit that she couldn't come up with an insult.

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

At this point, Janie has successfully distracted Phoenix by confirming something he's been worried about.

"Is that all she's been doing? She hasn't, you know... You think he's in any danger?"

[a_time_slip]

"She likes him." Janie frowned "But she's always trying to get rid of him... Lynn's only gone dark eyed for me, as far as I know."

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

"Vito told me she seemed to be having trouble adjusting. I offered to talk to her, but he said to give her a bit longer before the adults started butting in." Phoenix looks hard at Janie.

"She did? Nothing bad happened, did it?"

[a_time_slip]

"She- wants to live here." admitted Janie, "And wants me to live here too."

The time traveler averted her eyes when Phoenix asked about something bad happening, then decided to tell him.

"It's only happened when we were arguing about my old job, and when- well, about the school. Everything is fine now." I'm not a thinly veiled- um. Entertainer anymore. And she's making friends."

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

"I'd like that too." He says softly, still heartsore from the whole Vito business. "But you have to do what's right for you. And Lynn practically has her own room at mine. I love seeing so much of my daughter, thanks for allowing it."

He listens and considers the whole school thing. "Sam's straining at the leash to go to 'proper school'. We haven't talked it over with Lynn yet, but d'you think it'll help if Sam's with her? They seem real close these days."

[a_time_slip]

"I never wanted to take her from you." she blurted out, referring to the way she'd left Phoenix. This was the start of a ramble, and she would kick herself after saying everything. "I left her with my Dad, I just wanted to escape, and then she was there. So I took the first job I could find with those people. They offered me ID and an apartment and all I had to do was work for them to pay it off. And one night, I wandered into this place, and Vito did the nice thing and bought me dinner, and gave me a ride home. And he bought food for Lynn, because we didn't have any. Those bastards barely paid me because they tacked on charges for everything. Then he found a job for me, and one for Julian- and by then you were back and I couldn't just... leave him. I tried Phoenix, but he's such a good guy, and I can't let him know that- gods, I'm a horrible person. They kicked me out of my apartment during the storm, took my clothes, everything, and did you know the beast could get inside of my head? If I'd come to you that night instead of him, I'm sure nothing would have happened. But she knows, I won't come between you and her, I just didn't know what to do after I got here and realized she tagged along. You and Sam make her happy, she's calm And I'm just this terrible parent. If I could go back, I'd be with you, but I can't because that would fuck everything up again."

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

Phoenix is reeling from the tirade, but he's been clinging to very word, hoping for some trace of "I want to be with you" from Janie.

"It doesn't have to be fucked up, but you need to make that decision." He gets what he's been looking for, but if Janie can't choose him over Vito, he can't bear to beg her to do it. "You're not a terrible parent. We'd be amazing together."

[a_time_slip]

"I owe him." she said, almost crying "I can't just... I can't break his heart, but it kills me not to be with you. I don't love him, Phoenix."

Except, there was something a bit more than a sense of obligation that kept her with him. Janie felt guiltier than she'd ever felt before, and got out of her seat.

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

He doesn't know if that makes him feel better or worse. She says she wants to be with Phoenix, but on that basis he's hardly the person to advise her on her current dilemma. The angels' eyes remain on the woman as she moves away.

"Janie, baby. I never judge you. I can't. But I can't... you need to," Phoenix stops and sighs. "You can't stay with someone out of a sense of duty. And that's not because I have a vested interest. I do actually like him, it's just - he's worth more than that."

[a_time_slip]

"I know." she said, not looking at Phoenix "Is there a way to make him forget all about me? I don't want to break the heart of the only decent human in New York. The last woman he was with broke his heart, and I still- I was better off when all I did was work. What good is time and space when I can't do a damn thing about making life better?"

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

"I dunno. I can't go around fucking with the heads of mortals. Besides, that's dear Uncle Vahl's department."

Phoenix gets up too, and paces around the study.

"You have to do what you have to do. I can't help you with this. I'm a fucking mess, Janie. I want to help you more than anything, but ... I don't know what to tell you."

[a_time_slip]

"You can't help me?" asked Janie, in almost a whisper. The lack of options closed in on her as she turned her pin over in her petite hands. "Phoenix... I never meant for for this to happen. I'm sorry. "

She stared at her hands, at the reminder of the past she couldn't run from. "Do you want me to leave right now?"

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

"I would if I knew how." What can he possibly do? Have Vito bumped off? Short of marching up to the man's front door and telling him he's never to speak to Janie again, there's nothing Phoenix can do. And there's the certainly that Vito won't just meekly obey his rival. He'd have to hear if from Janie herself.

"No. I want you to stay. I always want you to stay."

[a_time_slip]

"I'll go back to the agency, and disappear for a bit. Please send Lynn to my father if you need a break"

She tried closing herself off, but her wounds were too deep and too open to do so.

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

"I don't want you to disappear! And I certainly don't want you to go back to the fucking Agency."

Phoenix really doesn't like the way events have turned in regard to this enforced promotion. "What's going on with them? They stand for everything the Kaldoan Offworld Corps does, for fuck's sake. Since when did the Agency start coercing it's members? Staking them out? Hunting them down? 'Cause that's what this fucking sounds like."

[a_time_slip]

"I don't have the courage to dump him!" she says, frustrated.

Janie realizes that she hasn't told Phoenix about what's happened to the Agency yet. She assumed he knew.

"It's falling apart. After Gio disappeared and I filed the formal papers against him, his buddies started going AWOL, then a lot of the superior officers disappeared. Command is a shell of what it once was, and recruitment is way down. We've still got funding but something is wrong with Command, and I'm supposed to join them. I won't, not with who is left. Check with the Offworld Corps, and see when the last time they sent a team out was."

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

"I can't do it for you." He's wondering now, if she deliberately finds insurmountable hurdles just so she doesn't have to face what it would really be like, if the two of them managed to get together.

Phoenix hasn't had much contact with the Agency for some time. Any specific work is passed his way through the Temporal division, and since the war began, the Offworld Corps resources have had to be diverted into that effort.

"I would if I was permitted contact with the homeworld. I'll try and get hold of one of the satellite departments."

[a_time_slip]

"I know that! Look, I'll set up a time and talk to him. Apologize and. Let him know that I want to be with you." The thought of it made her heart cold, because she knew from the beginning that things would never be serious with Vito.

"You don't need to... I doubt any teams have gone out. But I'm not sure what else to do other than return and fight the corruption. I'm broke, Phoenix, without access to my accounts. I've got nothing."

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

"Okay. Look. As much time as you need, okay? Then we're gonna have to take things slowly and carefully." He takes one of her hands. Phoenix feels almost as bad as Janie does about this whole Vito thing. "We're both bruised and hurting, it's never a great idea to go from one guys arms straight into anothers, not without a little healing time."

"I still got my contacts, we'll see what we can find on the Agency. Then maybe we can hack your accounts."

[a_time_slip]

Janie nodded, and clung to Phoenix's hand. "I'm happy in your arms, and I don't know if I can be alone right now."

She was scared, about everything changing, and had no idea of what the future held. She had no idea how Vito would take the news, and briefly wondered if setting him up with someone else was a good idea.

"Thank you... I- you do so much for me, Phoenix."

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

He shifts position, arms around Janie's shoulders. "You don't have to be alone, we just... need to understand how messed up we are. Take things carefully."

He's still too scared to hope, and screwing up someone else's heart never makes this kind of thing any better.

"It's okay. You do so much for me in intangible ways, you don't even know it. And anyway, I'm gonna need your help with Lex. The only way to get him back to his own time is to get into present-day Guln, and travel back from there." Phoenix hates to make such requests of Janie when she's vulnerable like this, but maybe it'll help her feel less useless.

[a_time_slip]

"Will you keep your arms around me?" she asked, wanting so much more at the moment.

Janie still feels terrible for breaking someone's heart, and is just waiting for something terrible to happen to her.

"Guln?" But she nodded, because she'd do anything for Phoenix. "I'll take him... Poor guy. Maybe, before he has to go, I'll take him somewhere nice. Would that be okay?"