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[a_time_slip]

Sleep is optional!

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[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

I kinda put that part together myself. [He watches the bottle smash into glass splinters and liquid with no hint of reaction]

The part I still don't get, is WHY YOU FUCKING TRIED THAT.

[a_time_slip]

You wouldn't have known, not for... at least until the boat came back. I set it for six months. There's too much, I can't anymore.

I give up.

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

Oh, that makes ALL the difference then, doesn't it? That'd have cheered everyone up. Oh fuck. Janie's dead. But guess what? THAT WAS SIX FUCKING MONTHS AGO. NO NEED TO GRIEVE ANY MORE THEN. IS THERE!!! WHAT WERE YOU FUCKING THINKING?? WHAT ARE YOU EVER FUCKING THINKING?

[He'll stop to breathe at this point]

[a_time_slip]

I don't know! That it's the only way out, to not feel so horrible any more. Nothing helped!

[And now she's picking up the glass, anything so she doesn't have to look at Phoenix or think too much.]

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

[He stops yelling, and paces foe a while, getting his breath back and feeling devastated at all this]

How.. How can things be that bad? That you'd wanna.. Can you even die that way? I wish you'd at least tried to ask for help.

[He's never tried that himself, no matter how horrific things got. It would be pointless. And of course Phoenix would never have asked anyone for help himself. Ylaia. Alec or Drake had always practically had to force it on him] Gods, Janie. I don't know how to help.

[a_time_slip]

It kept... getting worse. And then the thing in the field happened, and the baby. I can barely look at him, Phoenix.

[And she's picking up the glass still, very carefully]

There was someone I saw for help, but... I can't anymore. The pills didn't work, nothing bloody works. [All in a very even tone] Blowing up wouldn't kill me? There's no nebula to bring me back like for you. I thought it would just- end.

[No such luck for her. Time doesn't just end, at the very least, it starts all over again]

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

[He lets her carry on picking up the glass for a while, just because he realises she needs something to do with herself]

You're immortal Janie. We don't know if it's that easy, I know there's always some way. But a low-tech bomb? Were you hoping the Rift Raft's temporal field would provide the extra energy?

[Oh shite, now he's techno-babbling at her. Great]

[a_time_slip]

I don't want to be immortal. I thought, if I was injured enough, if it blew me apart and no one was there to help. I thought it would work, and that everyone would think it was an accident.

[She's too busy focusing on glass to even notice]

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

[He can understand, on some level]

Immortality can be a bitch, but nothing stays the same, even when things are at their worst. Is there really nothing that you want to live for?

[a_time_slip]

There is, but I've messed it all up, and I've done terrible things.

[She's stopped picking up the glass, and is now just staring at the floor]

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

I wish you'd tell me. [He makes the glass disappear, and the spilt liquid]

I'm an angel, and your friend. I can't judge you, Janie. That never comes from me, even when I'm dishing out retribution, it comes through me.

LOCKED BECAUSE NO ONE CAN EVER KNOW

[a_time_slip]

I'm a terrible parent... and.. I.

I killed a lot of people. An alternate Ori, um, came after me and Lynn. So I found her and killed her, then everyone else in the compound. Destroyed it until it was nothing but glass and went to every alternate I could find and did the same thing.

Over, and over, and wiped as many of them out as I could. If they ran, I found them.

And I've been giving people to the Master. It bothered me at first, but I don't think I care anymore. The kids are staying between my Father's and Xanders, because I just don't trust myself around anyone I care about. I'd even shown Julian how to operate the Rift Raft, since it was supposed to come back.

HE WILL NEVER TALK

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

[He's about to point out that Lynn is no ordinary kid, and a few other things, but the rest catches him out completely]

[He does have to sit down after that] I... wow. Sounds like the act of a pissed god.

As for the Master.. what kind of people?

IF HE DOES, SHE'LL SEND A HANNAH MONTANA CD TO HIM

[a_time_slip]

A pissed god? I don't think I'm strong enough for that. I feel terrible whenever I think of it.

My neighbors, anyone who bothers me too much, some jerks... Gio, who managed to come back some how.

AAAAGH NOES

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

Were you angry? I.. just can't imagine you going that far. I wish we could talk to Ylaia, she knows plenty of shit about you, I'm sure of it.

Gio? Cool. I uhh, fed him a few poor bastards too y'know.

THE WORST PUNISHMENT POSSIBLE!!!

[a_time_slip]

Yes. I was angrier than I've ever been. They went after the baby, and Lynn. No one hurts my children.

I thought you stopped feeding him.

D:

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

Hnh. I can't swear I could hold back if anyone hurt Sam. If I'd had the power to kill Solus over and over again.. I'd have done it.

Haven't seen him in a while, I do actually miss him.

SHE'LL BE NICE... FOR NOW

[a_time_slip]

You don't think I'm terrible for it? What I did was genocide. And if I'd... shit. Lynn wasn't supposed to be on the boat.

I like him, a lot. He's a great friend to have.

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

I can't judge you, honey. If anybody is, doubt it'll come through me. My own people have done some pretty appalling things, genocide included. [He's not sure what to think, but they're immortals, gods even. Whatever Janie's connection is, with his people, it's strong, and he can't condemn her] If she hadn't snuck onboard,... I shouldn't say it, but I'm glad she did. 'Cause you're here.

Eh, he likes you better. Doubt I'd be able to get to know him much better. Fucking enigmatic time Lords.

[a_time_slip]

They weren't going to stop... [Beware the Janie wrath. Anyway, those people were doomed from the very beginning] I'm sorry, Phoenix. So, so sorry for all of this.

He does? You really think so? [Janie smiles, just a bit]

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

Honey. The fact you tried to kill yourself does rather prove you have a conscience, and that you're not the fucking antichrist, doesn't it. [He'll be standing and giving her a hug now] Don't be. Just.. please, try and.. stay.

What's not to like? [He shrugs] You really fed Gio to him, huh?

[a_time_slip]

[She needs the hug, and clings, trying not to sniffle] What if it gets too hard again?

I even watched. Every bite.

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

Then come to me? Don't keep a lid on it, it's too big for you to .. I'll make you a deal. If you come to me, for everything you tell me, I'll tell you something I never talked about before. [WHAT THE FUCK IS HE SAYING? It's out of his mouth before he can engage his brain]

Uhm. I did make the effort, once they'd stopped all that screaming.

[a_time_slip]

[Janie nods, not realizing how easily abused that offer can be.]

I learned to tune it out. To turn myself off...

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

[His head is spinning a bit. An act of trust, maybe, or complete and utter insanity]

I could if I had to. There's been times on missions... Think we can keep Cattivo locked up somehow? Get him eaten over and over again? [He's almost joking]